Here it is Feb. 17th 2008. It has been one month since the passing of Sherry, and it still seems as if it were only yesterday. During this time I have come to realize many things.
The first is that grieving, is the cost of loving some one so dear. Every day I look around and see pictures, recall moments, or go to do something for her, and then realize that she has gone.
I am accepting that. She is in a perfect place, a place that was prepared for her. I, my family, and our friends are without her, and we grieve the loss. Isn't it unique that God created us to have this built-in emotion to help us heal from the earthly loss of someone that we loved.
Secondly in the past weeks I come to realize something else. Many a mornings when we would be reading scripture or Sundays in church we would sing songs of hope and comfort, tears would come to her eyes. I thought that it was just her emotions, or comforting the pain that she was in. I now know differently. She new, could feel and hear, the realization that these words were not just of hope and promises, but they were real. It was because she had come to a place in her faith that very soon all of this earthly life would pass and the promises of God would become present.
I can now feel and experience it also. As I go about re-reading many of the past scriptures that we had studied, or hear the songs, they take on a how new meaning. The Holy Spirit has brought this realization to me. It brings hope to a new meaning.
In Isaiah 40:13, "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on the wings like eagles; They will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint"
As I embrace this grief that God has given me, I am finding a healing from God during this loss. Everyday, sometimes by the hours, I find this healing taking place. The sadness is still there, but the comfort from God is becoming greater.
Thirdly, She had received a gift from God as a child. She had opened this gift and claimed it, a gift of eternal life. John 3:16 says, "For God so loved us that He gave His only begotten Son, that who so ever believes in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life." She now lives in this place called Heaven with this everlasting life, and I look forward to the day when I will be reunited with her.
-Dave
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1 comment:
Dave, what you have written is absolutely beautiful, and so true. All who love Sherry and you, too, know the depth of your love for one another. Aside from the Word and promises of God, which we know are true, there is so little that anyone can offer that makes a difference.
Only one who has been there can truly know. C.S. Lewis, author of the Narnia series and other classics, wrote a little book called "A Grief Observed", upon the death of his wife, Joy, who died of cancer in 1960. Although they had only been married a short time in comparison to you and Sherry, what he has written is remarkable in its raw, emotional transparency before God. He wrestles with God in his grief the way Jacob wrestled with the Angel of God, in the Old Testament. It is not an easy book to read, but many have found it comforting in that he truly understands what you are going through, and comes to peace with God in the end. I have that book, and you are welcome to borrow it, if you'd like.
I'm only one of many, many, who hold you - and Layne and Jeremy - up in prayer daily, and will continue to do so. Take care, and take heart, that God is by your side, and Sherry is only a heartbeat away. - Donna
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