Dear family and friends,
We go on in this life, even though we have suffered a devastating loss. Our grieving continues, and we are finding that each day something new comes along.
I want you to know that I am sadden from time to time. I don't apologize for the times we cry, because since the tears are not a sign of weakness or a lack of faith... They are God's gift to us, so we can express the extent of our loss. They are also a sign of recovering.
At times you may see us angry for no apparent reason, I'm not sure why. What I know is, is that my emotions are intense because of my grief. I sometimes feel I just need to be alone. Sometimes I don't make sense or I repeat myself again and again. For right now, please accept this as normal, forgive us and be patient with us.
More than anything else I need your understanding and your presence. Your presence can be a call, or hugs letting us know you care. Don't wait for me to call you, since sometimes I am too tried or emotional to to do so. That doesn't mean you should not call or visit. If I seem to withdraw from you, please don't let me do that. We need you to reach out to us for the next several months.
Pray for me that I would come to see the meaning in our loss and that I would experience God's comfort and love. It helps to let us know you pray for us.
To those who have experienced similar types of loss: thank you for sharing that with us. It is comforting to hear how you have/are recovering. I cling to the knowledge that my time will come, even though there been times when I did not feel it. I know that I will not always feel as I do now, laughter and joy will emerge once again.
Thank you for caring about our family. Thank you listening and praying. Your concerns comforts us and they are gift for which we will always be thankful.
Dave and the family.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Feb. 17th, One Month
Here it is Feb. 17th 2008. It has been one month since the passing of Sherry, and it still seems as if it were only yesterday. During this time I have come to realize many things.
The first is that grieving, is the cost of loving some one so dear. Every day I look around and see pictures, recall moments, or go to do something for her, and then realize that she has gone.
I am accepting that. She is in a perfect place, a place that was prepared for her. I, my family, and our friends are without her, and we grieve the loss. Isn't it unique that God created us to have this built-in emotion to help us heal from the earthly loss of someone that we loved.
Secondly in the past weeks I come to realize something else. Many a mornings when we would be reading scripture or Sundays in church we would sing songs of hope and comfort, tears would come to her eyes. I thought that it was just her emotions, or comforting the pain that she was in. I now know differently. She new, could feel and hear, the realization that these words were not just of hope and promises, but they were real. It was because she had come to a place in her faith that very soon all of this earthly life would pass and the promises of God would become present.
I can now feel and experience it also. As I go about re-reading many of the past scriptures that we had studied, or hear the songs, they take on a how new meaning. The Holy Spirit has brought this realization to me. It brings hope to a new meaning.
In Isaiah 40:13, "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on the wings like eagles; They will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint"
As I embrace this grief that God has given me, I am finding a healing from God during this loss. Everyday, sometimes by the hours, I find this healing taking place. The sadness is still there, but the comfort from God is becoming greater.
Thirdly, She had received a gift from God as a child. She had opened this gift and claimed it, a gift of eternal life. John 3:16 says, "For God so loved us that He gave His only begotten Son, that who so ever believes in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life." She now lives in this place called Heaven with this everlasting life, and I look forward to the day when I will be reunited with her.
-Dave
The first is that grieving, is the cost of loving some one so dear. Every day I look around and see pictures, recall moments, or go to do something for her, and then realize that she has gone.
I am accepting that. She is in a perfect place, a place that was prepared for her. I, my family, and our friends are without her, and we grieve the loss. Isn't it unique that God created us to have this built-in emotion to help us heal from the earthly loss of someone that we loved.
Secondly in the past weeks I come to realize something else. Many a mornings when we would be reading scripture or Sundays in church we would sing songs of hope and comfort, tears would come to her eyes. I thought that it was just her emotions, or comforting the pain that she was in. I now know differently. She new, could feel and hear, the realization that these words were not just of hope and promises, but they were real. It was because she had come to a place in her faith that very soon all of this earthly life would pass and the promises of God would become present.
I can now feel and experience it also. As I go about re-reading many of the past scriptures that we had studied, or hear the songs, they take on a how new meaning. The Holy Spirit has brought this realization to me. It brings hope to a new meaning.
In Isaiah 40:13, "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on the wings like eagles; They will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint"
As I embrace this grief that God has given me, I am finding a healing from God during this loss. Everyday, sometimes by the hours, I find this healing taking place. The sadness is still there, but the comfort from God is becoming greater.
Thirdly, She had received a gift from God as a child. She had opened this gift and claimed it, a gift of eternal life. John 3:16 says, "For God so loved us that He gave His only begotten Son, that who so ever believes in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life." She now lives in this place called Heaven with this everlasting life, and I look forward to the day when I will be reunited with her.
-Dave
Monday, February 11, 2008
Psalm 139
1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.
19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
I have read this many times, today, and many before. Knowing this was one of my mothers favorite chapters, I cannot help but read it over and over. I know that this Psalm gave her strength and comfort.
While we cannot understand why God would allows such imperfections, we know it serves a greater purpose. I cannot help but wonder, how many times my mother called upon God to remove her tumor, something He knew about when He created her. I wonder if that is why she loved this psalm so much, comforting her, and reassuring her that it is a part of God's will.
While she asked God to remove it, she didnt stop loving God, she didnt stop God from working in her life. She didnt put His plans on hold, she continued on following His outline for her life. This is how she became Christ-like.
Christ knew He was going to die, He knew that was a part of God's plan. Christ still cried out to the Father, asking Him if there was any other way.
Mark 14:36 "Abba, Father," he said, "everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will."
It is through our weakness, we are made strong. Its when we give up our control, that God can live through us.
-Layne
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.
19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
I have read this many times, today, and many before. Knowing this was one of my mothers favorite chapters, I cannot help but read it over and over. I know that this Psalm gave her strength and comfort.
While we cannot understand why God would allows such imperfections, we know it serves a greater purpose. I cannot help but wonder, how many times my mother called upon God to remove her tumor, something He knew about when He created her. I wonder if that is why she loved this psalm so much, comforting her, and reassuring her that it is a part of God's will.
While she asked God to remove it, she didnt stop loving God, she didnt stop God from working in her life. She didnt put His plans on hold, she continued on following His outline for her life. This is how she became Christ-like.
Christ knew He was going to die, He knew that was a part of God's plan. Christ still cried out to the Father, asking Him if there was any other way.
Mark 14:36 "Abba, Father," he said, "everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will."
It is through our weakness, we are made strong. Its when we give up our control, that God can live through us.
-Layne
Friday, February 1, 2008
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